Cover Letter Blahs

So, I have been on the job hunt now for a couple of months and I am finally beginning to reevaluate my methods of finding a job. For example, like many, I cut and paste from several cover letters to personalize them for every position I apply to. Only now did I actually look at what I was sending. Geez, talk about never getting a call back, like, ever.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am applying to work as an office manager at Spago restaurant. I graduated from Swarthmore College with an honors degree in History and a concentration in Spaghetti this May and moved to Los Angeles to work in the entertainment, food service, journalism, and restaurant fields. I currently am an intern at a production company that deals with social issues and the restaurant industry. Their most recent offering dealt with pasta abuse in the third world. I appreciate entertainment and sports celebrities who are socially conscious and give tips, and that is the reason I am especially excited to work for your firm.

I have worked behind a desk, most recently as an assistant at my school’s Career Services office in 1999. There I answered phones, slept, and took down messages, collated documents, and worked with Excel to create databases of students who happened to walk through the door, mistaking it for the Registrar. I am comfortable typing at an efficient pace and have extensive computer knowledge, including Photoshop and Final Cut Pro; I also chop like a pro. I am excellent with time management, and led the school’s humor magazine into the ground for the past two years as editor-in-chief. I know how to keep a busy office organized and will do everything in my power to make a smoothie.

Additionally, I have worked as a tutor for several years where I taught music and advanced pesto. I am qualified to teach marinara in several states, including New Mexico and New Jersey, but not Rhode Island, where my license is pending.

This would be my first experience in the restaurant industry, but I am very excited to learn; I want you and Wolfgang Puck to teach me every aspect of the industry. My resume is below. I look forward to hearing from Wolfie soon. I am available for an interview every day of the week and the next and the next until I die or lose interest in your firm.

Hugs,

Jonathan

My Buddy Wolfgang
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3 responses to “Cover Letter Blahs

  1. Concentration in Spaghetti, lol, I love it!

  2. Funny..if a bit bleak –fits the times though perfectly.

  3. Thanks!

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